"Please do not disturb if door is closed."

This is the sign I hung on my office door 2 weeks ago. Today I took it off and hung it up on the other side of the door, yes, the inside.

I was called "stupid" and a "stuck up jerk" today

my friends have been nice and polite to me recently...

one was because I didn't believe in taking pain killers and suffered from serious cramps for 7 straight hours; one was because (this is ridiculous, isn't it?!) that I was quoting Ayn Rand's "I can accept anything, except what seems to be the easiest for most people: the half-way, the almost, the just-about, the in-between."

but anyways, I am not affected. On the contrary, I'm very happy now! :D Well, for no reason, though...

When I was little I thought I'd live forever

When I was little I thought I'd live forever.

Then I knew about death, and I feared it a lot. The fear faded away as I was growing up and got engaged in more activities.

Then I went to college, and read Beauvoir. Her book Tous les hommes sont mortels made me realize being mortal is bliss. (Anyone who read the book should be amused to find that Green Mile borrowed her idea about how a man is cursed to live forever, alone, with a rat.)

Now I'm running out of time. They asked, for what? I said, everything. It's not that I'm still in my twenties so I shouldn't worry. Life is not about its length, after all. Need to organize my time better, then I'd be better at finding the meaning. Help me...

Conversation on the afternoon of 2007/03/11

A and T were walking to a pub on Main st. on this sunny Sunday afternoon. There were shades, breezes, and other pedestrians too.

T: Tell me some stories about you.
A: What kind of stories?
T: ...Stories about you being devious?
A: Oh...I have so many of them...

A: When I was little, I wanted to be a spy.
T: When I was little, I thought I could live forever.

A: You know what, I've never been to your office.
T: Really?? How come?
A: You never invited me..
T: Well you can invite yourself, you know, just stop by...
A: Well I don't want to be impolite...
T: Oh my god, that's exactly why they invented this phrase "stop by"!
A: Are you always enjoying being the smarty pants?
T: Well..That's my weakness.
A chuckles.

A: I don't have many friends.
T: Define many.
A: ...I can count all my friends with this hand...oh..well..maybe both hands.
T: Real friends?
A: Yeah.
T: That's good! You have no time to deal with more than that anyways.
A: How many friends do you have?
T: Um...I have a lot of acquaintances.
A smiles: You are a flirt!
T: No, I'm not.

A: Do you consider yourself liberal?
T: I'm a very liberal thinker, but I'm not sure if I'm a liberal doer.
A: Wouldn't that make you a hypocrite?
T: Not necessarily.

(A is sad about hurting other people.)
T: No. They are hurt. But you didn't hurt them. They just got hurt. It's really difficult to hurt someone. Never predicatable what hurts what doesn't.
...
T: And, if you don't want to get hurt, don't let them.
A: Huh, easier said than done.

...
A: Why?
T: I didn't love him.
A: ...That's fair.


When they were walking to the beach.

A: I consider you a friend. (But it was taken away by the breeze.)
T: What?
A: I consider you a friend.
T: I'm honored! But, (chuckles mischievously) does it mean you'll have to grow out one more finger for that?
A: Don't be mean...

To be continued.

"sometimes I want to stop them. but they are just cats"

Rock:
claire is still in.
let's stop talking like this
Tremble:
Ok
then tell me a story? :)
Rock:
well, there are two male cats yelling outside.
they fight everyday for the attention of three female cats, including their own daughters
Tremble:
haha
i don't understand the second part
Rock:
there is a mother cat, two father cats, and two daughter cats
Tremble:
ah
complicated
:)
you are a good observer
Rock:
two daughter cats have the same mother but they both look like their fathers
Tremble:
hmm...
then they dont' know?
or you don't know?
Rock:
I guess the father cats don't know they are their daughters. they just pursue the one that looks similar to himself...
Tremble:
really!!!
Rock:
black father loves black daughter, grey father loves grey daughter
Tremble:
what kind of love?
Rock:
lover
Tremble:
hmm
Rock:
sometimes I want to stop them. but they are just cats.
Tremble:
how are you gonna stop them?
Rock: just an intention
well, it is a bad story
Tremble: nope
this is like the best story I've had for a long time!!