Melancholy and Nostalgia are walking side by side.

Well, they seem to get along..

I'm planning a trip home this Christmas, hoping it will heal, and if not, pamper me, somehow. This will be the first Christmas I won't be alone in town for the last 3 years.

I guess I'm still pretty sad and feel myself such a failure. Friends feel sorry for me and one of them cooked dinner for me tonight. It was pasta with mushrooms and asparagus. We were then trying to figure out words written on the back of a bunch of Venice California postcards he recently collected. Some of them are more than a hundred years old. Those were cards that kids wrote to mothers, husbands wrote to wives, cousins wrote to cousins, and a couple of them were more like the sender asking for a date. What is really crazy is that on many cards, there's just name, town, and state. No zip code, no street, let alone street number. And yet those cards still got delivered. We wondered if there was only one post office in one town and that person had to go to downtown to get all her mail. We then wondered how the person my friend bought from collected these cards. I would always save the postcards I received and so would he. So we guessed it must be that those people who used to own those cards already died. At one moment I was thinking.. how I wished B was there sharing the moment with us, with me, and enjoying the beautiful pictures of Venice. He likes history. Then I had to remind myself about the reality.

How time flies. 2008 is almost ending. Here I'm relearning how to find happiness that comes from within.

Pros and Cons of wisdom teeth removal

A week after my wisdom teeth removal, I was having lunch with B.

me: The wisdom teeth removal really got me thinking for the past week. Now I have a list of pros and cons. Do you want to hear about them?

B: Um... why don't you just tell me about the net benefits, you know, pros minus cons?

me: Well... to cheer myself up, I have only actually just concentrated on the pros part...

:)

Alright here it goes (and only the pros!):

1. Free food suddenly loses attrativeness. (This used to be the easiest way to enslave me.)
2. People like me better when I can't speak. At least they liked me better on the day of surgery when I couldn't speak. It was unfortunately kind of temporary...
3. For the first time I learned to eat slowly and gracefully. Now I manage to eat less and digest better.
4. I know approximately what I'll look like if I gained 20, 15, and 10 pounds, face-wise. (I have data from the second, third, and fourth day after the surgery, when I looked like a chipmunk with lots of nuts, some nuts, and a few of nuts stuffed in the mouth, respectively.)
5. Self-pity is somehow more justified than other times.
6. A great excuse not to go to the gym.

I can go on and on but I guess I'll stop here.