If I had time

There has been so much I wanted to write about recently but I don't have time!

If I had time, I'd write for my lonely friend who just lost everything in her life, tell her how I felt when I found out the things I cherished most were gone, how I started over again, and how fortunate it is, actually, for one to lose everything she has at one point, preferably in her twenties, so she'd learn to appreciate people and things in her new life, and learn to understand that we should not take anyone or anything for granted.

If I had time, I'd write for my dearest Z, who has, in the past year, experienced so many setbacks in her life. We were once so close now our lives are so different. I want to admit her all the big mistakes I had made because I didn't listen to her. I want to tell her all the big mistakes she had made because she didn't listen to me. Most importantly, I'd ask her to never ever give herself up. Be it bar exam, job search, abortion, money, in-laws, they may just all be.. a test from the Buddha. And, Z, is almost always so much tougher than me.

If I had time, I'd write about a single mother I met recently, and how brave she was to accept the banality of life, and to raise the kid all by herself. Too many success stories about single mothers are covered by media, now people think it's easy! No it's never easy, it takes constant time, energy, and affection; it repeats every day; it's almost mechanic; but it's also your baby. I want to learn from this girl's courage, I want to befriend the banality of life.

If I had time, I'd write for my best guy friend. I recently spent quite some time thinking about why the hell we are so good friends -- we have no commonalities at all. We are in fact extremely opposite to each other in almost every possible aspect in life. (This guy doesn't even recycle!) Yet, I found one thing that we share: although we do very different things, and we don't really have to physically present in each other's life, we are both able to play like a kid. I guess, that's very important.

If I had time, I'd write my recent thought on developed countries dumping e-wastes to China and other developing countries, and what a conscious decision I make each time I recycle used batteries here in California, knowing a large fraction of them will reappear in the villages of my country, pollutings all the rivers where I call home.

At last, if I had time, I'd want to write down my fears, so that they can fly away from me. There are some things that if you hide them, they will always be there. I'm working on this.